Bollywood actor Vivek Oberoi recently spoke his heart out about his experiences with heartbreak and the lessons he learned along the way. He spoke to MensXP and spoke about how he handled the heartbreak. He also advised the young men who are going through the same pain. Vivek grabbed a lot of attention with his relationships before he got married to Priyanka Alva Oberoi in 2010.
Vivek said that many men suffer from a broken heart and also revealed how some of them get accustomed to an unhealthy way of responding to their emotions. As per Vivek, young males, when they break up they feel betrayed and start talking about their ex-female partner’s shortcomings. He said that they talk to friends to let out their pain, while in some cases, the men promise to never marry again and start casual dating as they do not want to get serious. Vivek added saying, ‘Others go in the opposite direction—they decide to date every girl who comes their way and vow never to commit seriously because it hurts too much’.
He continued by saying that this answer is ultimately misguided because these kinds of responses can make a person lose touch with his self. Vivek said, ‘This girl left you, and you let her take your sense of self along with her. That’s wrong. She rejected you, but you haven’t rejected yourself. You need to work on yourself. Of course, it’s important to express your feelings but this typical journey of lashing out, dating a bunch of girls…which I think Bollywood is also partially responsible for.’ He also shared that he emphasizes that introspection and growth are what count.
He further said that after his heartbreak, he struggled to reconnect with his authentic self. He said, ‘We often focus on the emotional reaction rather than the process of healing. My emotional reaction lasted for 4-5 years. It was difficult until I found Priyanka. I was stuck in a negative mindset, convinced I would stay single for the rest of my life. I forgot who I truly was—a guy who was devotedly in love. I changed myself and was punishing myself’. He revealed how the emotional pain of his past relationship lasted for years, till the time he met Priyanka and she began to heal him. He then said that by punishing himself, he had lost sight of the loving the devoted person he was once. He continued saying, ‘If it wasn’t your fault and you were simply innocent but ended up being used or abused, it’s essential to protect yourself. Don’t give so much of yourself to someone until you’re sure the person is worthy of it’.
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